My Life as Described by TFIOS Quotes

Okay guys, time for a serious post.

I honestly don't know if anyone even reads this anymore, but I guess why not pour my heart out into a blog post, right?

So anyway.  These past couple days have been crazy for me.  It's been such an emotional roller coaster and I'm still a little bit in shock.  But whenever a new plot twist in my real life story happened, I kept using The Fault in Our Stars quotes.  And they fit the situation perfectly.  It was weird man.  And yes, I did say every one of them out loud.  So here goes.


QUOTE #1: "If you want the rainbow you have to deal with the rain." -Augustus's parents' Encouragements

WOAH IT'S 11:11 RIGHT NOW MAKE A WISH.  Okay anyway.  So time for a little background.  This week was high school volleyball tryouts.  I have spent all summer stressing and working out and stressing and playing a little beach volleyball here and there and stressing for tryouts.  Last year, I made the sophomore team as a freshman.  This year, my goal was JV, but I was okay with sophomore too.  Little did I know that the program was changing, and instead of the good people in my grade playing up, they also play down on the lowest possible team allowed.  Since my class is ridiculously competitive in everything they do, there was a lot of competition.  People who had played on JV as freshmen last year were now playing Sophomore and JV.

On day two of tryouts, I got cut.

I was shocked.  I hadn't expected this at all.  I mean, here I was shooting for JV and everything.  But since the program had changed to become more competitive with other schools, I was left in the dust.

So I went home and bawled my eyes out.  There's still a mascara stain on my comforter.  Sorry, Mom.  Nothing had ever sucked so much in my entire life.  Here I was, fully expecting to play my favorite sport in the entire world for my high school and to be able to participate in all the excitement that comes with it.  Instead, the carpet was pulled out from under me.  I had worked so hard for such a long time, and my dreams had been crushed.

True dat.  Image courtesy of this website

So on Wednesday I cried some more.  My mom then decided to try to switch me to tennis, a sport I've played off an on for a couple of years.  However, since tryouts had already passed, I would have to play on the developmental team, even though I'm good enough for JV.  So I was like, "Great.  Screwed again."

I ended up posting a picture on Instagram of a super cool picture of a double rainbow I saw a couple days ago.  The caption was the TFIOS quote you see above.  More on this later.

QUOTE #2: "What is this life??" -Hazel when she gets an email from Peter van Houten

Thursday morning, as I'm happily practicing percussion at the high school, my dad calls and breaks the news: the head volleyball coach asked for a meeting with us later that day.  So instead of continuing to practice percussion, I sat and wondered what the heck it could be about.  I didn't want to have my heart broken twice.  I didn't want my parents and the coach to get mad at each other.  So I was a ball of anxiety for a couple of hours.

So then we go to the meeting.  And I was invited back on the team.  The coach told me I had been cut because there were so many good sophomores who also play my position.  However, I have such a good work ethic and coachability that I still belong on the team.  She said I'm not guaranteed any playing time because there are three other girls on the team who play defense, but I have the opportunity to fight for a spot.

Then I went home in shock for the second time in two days.  I still hadn't fully digested it when I had to leave for volleyball practice – my first official one this season.  I was super worried what others would say.  The coach told me she had never done this for anyone before.  But everyone was super excited for me and hugged me and told me I belonged on the team, which meant so much to me.

As we were having a team meeting, it really sunk in: I'm part of the volleyball team.  I get to practice and travel and compete and be a part of the team and play the sport I love.  You don't really appreciate what you have until you lose it, and on Tuesday I realized how devastating it would be to not be able to play volleyball.  And two days after having my heart broken, I got a second chance.

QUOTE #3: "I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up my friend" -Augustus, spoken in the Literal Heart of Jesus

So now I'm going to work even harder.  I was brought back to the team because of my attitude and work ethic and coachability.  It's almost weird.  I don't even want to talk about myself anymore because so much has been said about me in the past couple of days.  I want to move on now and play like I deserve to be a part of the team, which I do.  I want to pretend that this emotional bump didn't happen, at least until I need another motivator to work my ass off.  I've been told that I can bring a lot to the team, and I don't really know if I should feel pressured now or not, but I'm going to do my best.

Let's bounce (I see you thinking dirty thoughts, stop that)
Image courtesy of this website

I just want to say that the intangibles do matter.  No matter what it is you're doing, your attitude and work ethic will affect it.  I never realized how important these things were until today.  I never even really thought about if I had a good attitude or not, but today it literally earned me a spot on the high school volleyball team.  So no matter what you're doing, just know that skill isn't the only thing that counts.

Now to revisit the first quote: these past couple days were the rain.  And I dealt with it.  And now I get the rainbow: the chance to play the sport I love with the people I love.  And I will appreciate what I have even more now, since I almost didn't have it.

I honestly don't know if anyone is going to read this.  But if you happen to stumble across this humble little post in some obscure corner of the blogosphere, thanks for entering my little roller coaster ride of the past few days, and know that you can get through yours.  And even if no one reads this, at least I wrote it for me.

The intangibles matter.

Just sayin'.