Thursday, May 1, 2014

The High School Hallway is a Dangerous Place

Let's face it: we all get a little ticked while at school.  We've all thought "God, I HATE people!"  And we all know what those despised people need to do to tick us off.  So, the National Sucks to Suck Foundation presents: how to annoy the crap out of an already annoyed group of tired teenagers stuck at junior high school.

Walk down the halls in a zigzag path.  Definitely make sure to go against the grain whenever possible.  Push through everyone, because you always have the right of way, no matter which direction everyone else is going.  You are special and everyone must go around you.

Talk to the teacher like you are equals.  Or, even better, you are the superior.  You definitely know the subject way better than the teacher, so you should definitely enlighten everyone on the actual implications of rewilding or the purpose of haploid cells.

Talk about political and social issues at lunch.  Probably no one wants to talk about shallow things like homework, tests and teachers anyway.

This picture sums up my whole day. Image courtesy of Goodreads

Sing songs from Frozen all day, every day.  Especially in class with all your giggly friends.  Yep, everyone wants to hear that.

When you're walking down the hall, just stop suddenly.  People behind you are sure to appreciate it.  Even better: get a group of friends to do it with you!  Walk, then stop and giggle.  Make sure not to let anyone through.

At lunch, sit at someone else's table.  After all, it's not like there's a group of ninth grade girls who have been sitting at that table for two years and you're a lowly eighth grader or anything.

Mess up someone's neat pile of binders and folders.  Oh wait, that just annoys me.

Walk super slowly.  Like a snail on sleep medicine.  You don't have anywhere to be, so obviously no one else does either.

Many people at our school are already experts on some of these things.

Just sayin'.

3 comments:

  1. This sums basically sums up why I hate most 8th graders

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  2. I realize I do a few of these

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  3. #fwp ;) oh hey look you already labeled that never mind...

    Tip for getting through a group of people obviously going nowhere: put your hands out in front you like you are pretending you're a fish, and then say really loudly, EXCUUUUUUUUUUUSEEEEEE MEEEEEEEEE!!! Then when people move out of your way, just say thank you like the little brat you are ;)

    You've seen me demonstrate...

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